Thank you for taking a peek at "My Best Bad Habit". To make a long story shirt, I created this blog to purge the chattering that constantly happens between my ears! Please feel free to content on any of the content which will run the gamut from stories lurking in my past, to religion, the paranormal, current world issues, philosophy on family and even a complete work of fiction about make believe stuffed animal friends trying to make a living in the world today. Enjoy, and most of all thank you! I'm not a big fan of psychotherapy, but I have a lot to say. This venue will have to do. Thanks for listening!

Friday, April 18, 2014

Heaven IS Real. Truth Be Told, I Went To Heaven Too.

Life is funny. I never anticipated keeping a secret so closely for over four years about what happened to me on April 10th, 2010, the day I died. Let's face it, I'm a blabbermouth! My heart has always been sewn tightly on my sleeve, and I often end up give a play-by-play broadcast on the normal events of my day without even noticing my mouth is moving. If you're wondering, yes this does drive my wife nuts from time to time. Fair enough!

With all of that said, here I am, sitting with a secret. Not a bad one, but a really big one. I don't fully understand why, but it has always been difficult for me to bring up my out of body experience ... seeing myself from above, with 10-12 doctors and nurses working frantically to save my life. When is right time to tell people I went through the "white light", and in to Heaven after being hit by a drunk driver? That's an honest question. I'm really not sure myself.

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I've told about 5-10 people about my trip to Heaven up until today. To be honest, I usually only share this when someone I encounter has just had a family member pass away, or it seems the death of a loved one may be approaching. It's always heart wrenching to do, but I do it for one reason. I know I am supposed to. I don't know why I "know" this, but I have known I'm supposed to. So, I do. I tell them what they need to know ... Heaven Is For Real.

It's a tough situation to be placed in, but I see the importance, and always welcome and appreciate the opportunity.

I feel that it's important that I mention that I am not the "Bible Thumper" so many fear when the topic of "what happens after death" arrives. Not even close. I don't believe that there is only one path, that all of us must walk perfectly to reach Heaven. I do not believe only one religion is "right". I believe they all likely are. I believe in each person walking their own individual path. We should all chose our own path, and do our best to enjoy the twists and turns as they come! In fairness, I think we can all admit that our lives as humans on Earth are truly very hard and confusing by nature. It's Universally understood. Due to the nature of humanity in general, and the beauty of forgiveness, I'm certain nearly everyone is let in Heaven when this life passes. Why would my sins be forgiven, and others would be left unforgiven? My point in saying this is simple ... I'm not trying to change your view on God, religion, death, or the afterlife. I'm simply telling you what happened to me.

It was while watching the movie "Heaven Is For Real" this week, that I realized that if this kid had the guts to tell everyone what he saw in Heaven, surely I had the courage to as well. If you haven't heard of the movie, it is about a 4 year old boy who was sent to Heaven after his appendix ruptured. He met Jesus and relatives that had already passed away,. He even met a sister that his mother lost during a miscarriage! He begins telling his parents about what he saw very casually, and it quickly becomes clear that he is recalling events he experienced, and not imagining a thing. At the end of the movie, everyone actually gave a standing ovation!

As my wife were walking out of the theater, we overheard a little girl tell her grandfather, while holding his hand, "Wow! That movie really teaches you a lesson." She was right! I decided that it's time to say what happened to me. I highly encourage seeing this movie, as it is an amazing event that this little boy brought us. It also shows many reasons why people who have this happen to them are scared to talk about it.

Before I tell you what I saw, who I saw, where I went, and how life looks through my eyes after seeing Heaven, I want to make one thing clear. I'm nothing special. I got hit by a car, and was blessed to be given a second chance.

I also want to take a moment before I talk about what happened to let you all know how genuinely terrifying this has been for me. I wasn't scared when I was in Heaven, but coming back to Earth with these memories has been very hard for me. I want to be crystal clear in stating that this is the scariest thing that I've ever experienced. I think it would be easy for people to read this and not feel the fear I have felt. You may be asking ... Why fear? It's simple. I think my story is best understood if you put yourself in my shoes and consider the questions that would arise in your mind, after being sent to Heaven, then sent back. Most of us like to act as if we believe that Heaven is real, but for some reason, people have a hard time understanding that Heaven is a real place! Odds are if we knew the coordinates, we could fly a spaceship there!

We will all end up there one day. Let that soak in, it's a great feeling. I don't mean to poop on the party, but our world has some serious problems right now. It always has had I suppose. Heaven is a PERFECT place. Won't that be great??? Just because we have to die to get there, doesn't mean we can't look forward to it one day, when our human tanks run out of gas. I'll be honest, we will have earned it!

I'm really not interested in reliving the accident. It's the events that happened afterwards that are important here. I did lose sight in one eye, had a few brain surgeries, my face was reconstructed almost entirely, my femur broke and my teeth were knocked out. I'll stop there with the details. I was given almost no chance of living after being flown to the hospital in the helicopter ... a 2% chance to be specific. I've been called a miracle more times than I care to mention. The truth is that I am one I guess. I don't know why I hate admitting that, but I do. My point here is sympathy is not what I'm shooting for here. I just want to be heard.

Off we go ....

My family and I were hit head on, and a helicopter flew me to the Medical Center of the Rockies in Loveland, Colorado. I don't recall the accident, and only remember a second or two of the helicopter flight. Upon landing at the hospital, they actually didn't know who I was. I was "John Doe" for the first hour or two at the hospital. I find this fascinating, because I'm not certain I was in my body during the time they called me "John Doe".

After the bumpy few seconds I can recall in the helicopter, I'm in the hospital. This is the point where I begin seeing myself from above, on a rolling hospital bed. I don't go back and forth between being "in" my body, and then "above" my body at this part of the journey. I'm just watching it all happen from the ceiling somehow. The doctors and nurses wheeled me into two different rooms and through a set of double doors. I actually drew this out when recalling of this for the first time.

As it ended up, my sister had worked at this hospital in the Emergency Room. I called her the night I drew this as the memories came rushing back, and she confirmed this was the layout of the hospital, and likely the rooms they would have taken me in. I remember seeing myself being pushed down a hallway into the second room, and at that point there were so many doctors and nurses above me that I could barely see my body. While all of this was happening, I felt no fear, believe it or not. I felt completely at peace, and I don't recall being concerned about what was happening at all. I didn't watch them work on me for long from above, and quickly went to and through the "white light" so many people have seen in this situation. I wouldn't say I made a conscious decision to go through the "white light", it just happened.

On the "white light" topic, I have to let my inner nerd shine here for a second. The physics of the white light are fascinating to me, yet baffle me completely. I know my next memories come from Heaven. I don't know how, or what part of me went to Heaven. I wish I did. I often ponder how this happens. I do know my next memory came from a scene that honestly looked a lot like the the child from "Heaven Is For Real" saw. I wasn't in a building. It was an extremely white background that "glowed" almost too much for a lack of a better word. The bright white washed out some of the features of the old man who approached me, but I could eventually make out his face. He wasn't alone. There were two tall beings on either side of him, both looking at me. I have no idea who these beings were. I couldn't see any facial features whatsoever. I believe they were human, possibly angels. 

The man in front of these two beings looked me in the eyes, and spoke to me. Her looked to be about 60-65 years in age. He had a dark brown natural hair color mixed with grey. His hair was about shoulder length long and curly. He had a full beard and wore a robe that quite frankly looked like it was straight out of the Bible. It covered his feet. I'm not certain why, but I have a distinct memory of the top of his head. He was balding. Like I said, he spoke to me, and I wish I could tell you what he said to me. I simply don't remember and never have remembered a bit of what he said to me. It really bothered me a lot for while, but I've accepted I am not supposed to know what he said yet. 

My next memory is from about three weeks later, on Earth, when I came out of the coma and my second chance at life began.

It took about 8-9 months for me to remember seeing myself from above, the white light and the people on the other side. When the memories came, it was genuinely one of the scariest things I've ever experienced in my life. To hope for a God and Heaven is one thing. To know it's there, and on top of that I went, and got sent back ... That is entirely different. It really shook me up. I could only tell my wife and sister in the beginning. Many people will likely find it somewhat funny that I still don't go to church to this day.

Saint Peter
After a few months of pondering who the old man was that talked to me, I began to research what is "supposed" to happen. I found that Saint Peter is supposed to be the one who meets you at the gates. I knew the old man I had seen wasn't Jesus, or God. He wasn't a relative either. I finally worked up the courage to search "Saint Peter" on Google Images. I was shocked to see that it was him. A perfect match. Here is a picture of him.

As I slowly absorbed what I had seen over months, if not years, my unanswered questions began to really bother me. Why was I sent back? Surely I have "something to do here". Right? What did Saint Peter saying to me? I've always been the type to over-think things, and I went nuts on all of this. It completely changed my view of the world and the Universe.

I struggled with loneliness because of this for years. I still fight being a hermit. Here is why .... 

I began to tell a couple of close friends about what happened, and I was frankly crushed at how people just don't seem to be able to grasp the concept of Heaven being real. For whatever reason, it is easier for most people to assume sympathetically that I had a brain injury, and some "wires were crossed". There is even a medical theory that states that the brain becomes delusional and imagines experiences like the one I had, and thousands of others have also had, over hundreds of years, from places all over the globe. While I obviously appreciate what the medical community did for me, I really have a problem with this assumption that delusion or imagination kicks in at the time of death to "imagine" Heaven, relatives that have passed away, and spiritual beings. I simply do not understand this line of thinking.

I think it is simply an effort for science to work off of "proven" facts. From my point of view, it's an arrogant way of looking at things. Unknowns exist. They need to be dealt with better by science. Just because we can't show how Heaven works, or even where it is, it is there. I was taken there, and keep in mind, it's one of the scariest things I've ever experienced. It takes guts to truly appreciate what lies in the depths of outer space. Why can't the possibility that the majority of the world's population is correct in believing in Heaven be considered by the medical community on faith alone? It's not as if we all don't want to know more about it. We simply are not able to as humans. Written history going back to the dawn of mankind explains in detail how "God" or "God's" have come to Earth and seeded the planet. To me, it's completely illogical to dismiss all of this as "myth" and "imagination".

This belief is personally insulting to me. Having recovered from this major brain injury, I am fully experienced at my brain working differently than it did before. My memory slips a lot, but the memories can be found with some digging and clues from others who can give them. My personality is different in some ways. I'm used to that. I know what it's like having a brain injury. I can tell you that delusion or an "over-active imagination" has not been a part of it in any way, shape or form. Sorry scientists. It's not that easy of an answer. At times, I have wished it was.

My view of my trip to Heaven has changed some in the four years since it happened. I'm much more at peace with it now. I have spent countless hours wondering about what Saint Peter said to me, and why I was sent back. I've decided I'll likely never know in this lifetime. All I can do is make an effort to make my second chance worth the time! Life is so short everyone. We all know that. The important message I want to communicate to you all is that when this life ends, we blast off to a perfect place ... Heaven. It is real. Your family members who have passed are there. You will see them again.

Our lack of understanding of death and the afterlife leads us to well up with tears when we can fully realize this. The real challenge comes when you begin to learn to change those tears of sadness and grief for our loved ones who have gone before us to Heaven, into tears of joy. Be at peace that we have nothing to fear, and a truly perfect place awaits us after this life. Who knows what happens after that, but I'm excited to eventually find out.

Until that day comes, I try to be happy. I try to appreciate simple things. Most importantly I try to be a better husband, father, son, brother, cousin, uncle and friend to those around me.

I still wonder about how it all works. It fascinates me! I accept I will have to wait to ask my questions. That said, the next time I go back to Heaven, I hope they have a block of time scheduled for me to ask away. I have a list of questions a mile long, and I add to it every day. I'm going to drive them nuts haha!

If you happen to want to talk about this with me any more, please feel free to email me. Matthewmgee11@gmail.com. It's good for me to talk about this, and I've been keeping this all largely to myself for just over four years now. I want to thank you for listening to me. I hope if nothing else, you will ask yourself, What if Heaven is real?

Make it a great day, and thank you again for the time you took to read about what happened to me.


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